Saturday, December 12, 2009

Been Busy


Tonight's offering - buttertarts - when I told Dan these were to give away, he immediately blurted, "I get one!" Then Meredith said, "I get one" and so did Max. I'll be lucky if there's three left to give away on Monday. And I'm out of raisins and can't make another batch. These people.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tante Lorette


I was going to blog about a scarf in progress, but quickly realized that I'm not really thinking about knitting, I'm thinking about the recipient of this little scarf I'm making.

Tante Lorette is my father in law's cousin. They share a grandmother, now dearly departed. She is in her early seventies - I know this only because she mentioned her oldest child is 52 years old now (or 53, is it?) so I'm sure she's in her 70s. I just don't have the guts to ask, some things are better left unsaid.

What makes Tante Lorette ageless, at least to me, is her attitude towards life. She amazes me constantly, with what she has accomplished, and with what she still does today. She raised four children, taught grade 2 for 30 years (including my husband's 7 year old mind), buried a husband far too young, lives in a house on her own, traveled to europe and Eygpt in the last few years, and just genuinely amazes me. She babysits the little girls on Mondays and Tuesdays.

Tante Lorette has incredibe energy. She just goes all day and never seems to tire. She's francophone, and speaks French so beautifully and just..correctly...it's a privilege to have her as our girls' first educator. I could tell when she first met Katja, she started thinking to herself, "I can't wait to get my hands on that kid, they think she's smart NOW...wait'll I'm done with her". And she's right. Katja has learned songs, done crafts, learned so many important words and phrases that I sometimes struggle with, and has learned to cooperate so much more (also coincidental somewhat with her just approaching 3 years old, but I know largely it's Tante Lorette's influence).

She's just *grown up* at an incredible pace since I went back to work. I also think some of that is that she really is being educated during the day and that I am also able to relax and give her more attention and to put in the energy she requires to be happy. Katja's not going to just let you come home and read the news, she demands 100% of my attention from the minute I get in the door. Rightly so, I think, and the ability to focus on her is an incredible thing. I think she's a lot lazier when I'm around too, because I just anticipate her needs so well that she isn't doing enough for herself - I'm always a step ahead of her. I think having to articulate her needs during the day to caregivers who maybe don't understand what she's really in need of has really improved her overall demeanour with me.

Anyway, I digress (greatly) with that - what I mean to say is, Tante Lorette amazes me. She has a fabulous, positive attitude. She's the kind of person you just want to have around you. I hope one day if she needs to live in a supported living arrangement of some kind that she would consider living with us. I just adore adore adore her. So do the girls, Katja's face just lights up when she talks about Tante Lorette. She rushes to please Tante Lorette. She misses her mama, but Tante Lorette is probably the most perfect substitute.

So when I knitted up this little scarf, and she watched me knit it, I hoped she noticed that it was a complex little pattern, and that it needed my attention, and that I couldn't really watch TV and knit this properly. So I knit a little here, and knit a little there, and just kept knitting along, and all of a sudden, I'm on the last two rows. I can't wait to give it to her. I have no doubt she will know exactly how special a gift it is, because I spent probably an hour winding yarn, comparing the different weights and colours, taking note of her usual range of colours in her clothes, looking at patterns for each different weight of yarn...it was a labour of love. I hope she enjoys it.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

We arent (that) worried about the flu

Great CBC article here - http://tinyurl.com/yk3m3f4

At last someone has the information I'm looking for - how deadly is this disease, really? How safe is the vaccine, really? How has it been tested?

He says there is no reason to panic. Yes, tragic deaths happen, but they do every year. The media focus on these stories is absurd.

We've decided to relax, take care of our bodies by reducing dairy and sugar intake, make sure we're taking lots of vitamin D and probiotics to support our immune systems. We are sleeping a lot more. Taking time off when we get sick and recover fully before resuming activities.

(I'm not a doctor. Don't sue me if you do these things and die. If you're following some random blogger's medical advice instead of making your own informed decision, you're in a lot more trouble than you think anyway)

We're all sick here anyway and I'm hoping it's h1n1 (since 90%+ of flu out there is 'the' flu, we think this is it, especially since the under 5's have no real fever.

So without further ado, I give you

*Flu 2009 update* (insert news music here)

Meredith is almost 100 % other than being tired (she got sick Saturday night). I am keeping her home most of the week in case it's h1n1 as they asked @ hospital when we were there with katja to do that. We don't believe this is a huge deal, this flu, but we don't want to be 'those people who are minimizing and putting everyone at risk', either.

Max is very tired but not barfing. I went to bed at 8 because anika was up barfing last night at 4 a.m. And sure enough she's barfing again, so I just threw a load of laundry in at this hour. Brutal. Did I mention that my dryer is broken? Did I? OMG I verily vibrate with stress when I even think about that.

I was feeling tired and under the weather all day, but in a 'I need a hot shower and a nap' kind of way, not a 'oh God I'm not going to make it through this day' kind of way.

Dan (got sick Friday) is also almost better, with just the fatigue left and some stomach upset.

Katja (got sick monday so 1 week ago now) still has diarrhea and is a little tired (she goes from her normal self to a tantruming mess in 3 minutes flat - I think she tires herself quickly). She is otherwise herself.

Anika threw up last night a little and was a little fussy today, her stomach was cramping a bit, I think, and she had diarrhea. She just got up and threw up a lot, twice.

Max went to bed on the couch then up to his bedroom at 8. He was up listening to podcasts for a while but has basically stayed in bed. No puking yet. He hasn't eaten since lunch so I'm guessing his stomach is a bit upset.

And big mama is hanging in there. I was really worried about getting super sick today but I held it off and meredy was well enough to do stuff like sit with anika while I put katja to bed (she wanted to go to sleep at 530 omg but I got her to stay up til 7:00 stupid time change)

I have a trial tomorrow and important witness meeting as well. And a trial and take your kid to work day Wed, so really I'm not available til Thurs for the flu anyway.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

What I did tonight.

  • Got home from work, nursed the baby while putting off Katja who was begging very loudly for bubbies. Repeatedly.
  • Made supper while holding baby and putting off Katja who was still asking for bubbies - roasted a squash and made fresh cornbread muffins (used a mix - I'm not THAT good)
  • Grocery shopped while the girls were in the tub with Dan
  • Put Katja to bed
  • Put Anika to bed
  • Went for a run
  • Put Anika back to bed
  • Did a load of laundry
  • Washed dishes from supper
  • Made cream of leek sop for crockpot for tomorrow
  • Got the bread ready for tomorrow morning
  • Washed and chopped veggies for the veggie ray
  • Put veggies in snack containers for lunches tomorrow
  • Did another load of laundry
now I'm eating chips and I'm thinking I earned my knitting time right after this :)

Friday, October 9, 2009

Why is it....

....that although I take copious amounts of photos and upload them regularly so that my blog doesn't suck as hard as it otherwise would, and I always do this at the dining room table in my home.....


I can't find my camera cable. How is that even possible?

Dear me: really, really, you need to try to start getting it together. Really. You're a grownup now. You're 37. Stop losing stuff already.



You nitwit.



And I deleted the email with nadine's link to her wedding photos in it, so I can't show those either. Gah.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dear Neglected Blog


I love you, I really do. But this whole full time employment thing is really putting a damper on my recreational time, and my employer doesn't see the benefit in permitting employees to access Twitter or Facebook, so I haven't even tried Blogger.





Nadine and Nathan got married and we took advantage of their photographer, who took this beautiful shot of the little girls.



Things I'm doing...

- pre-washing and cutting veggies - Kristen, I store them in glass lidded containers. I find vegetables get really gross in ziplock bags, and I don't like my food sitting in plastic in any event. P.S. Sorry for rejecting your comment. I'm a spaz.

- NOT WORKING OUT which really sucks - I'm so tired in the mornings that I just can't get my ass out of bed and into the gym. Mostly because I'm staying up late doing the stuff I like.

- strangely, losing weight anyway. Getting out of the house for 35 hours a week is great for me - less boredom and less snacking. I'm down a couple of sizes and actually stepping up my calories a little bit because I don't want to get too skinny.

- organizing my house! Yay! We got new furniture for the living room and I looked around at the clutter and had a meltdown. Got rid of 3 massive garbage bags of clothing as well as a couple of boxes of garbage and a ton of recyclables. The girls' dresser has been emptied of outgrown clothes, inventoried and re-organized. All the yarn (mostly) is downstairs. In other developments, I'm now only allowed to knit one project at a time. Until I finish it. Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts because

- Yarn on the way!! Laines Magnifiques, cestari trim for my Mosaic Moon yarn that came in, and also some really cool Montreal Canadiens sock yarn for a surprise for Dan.

- God I need to start Christmas knitting.

- I ordered these for christmas gifts for the kids, along with tutus for Katja and Amelia. Christmas shopping for the little kids is complete, save for a even-up gift for Levi. Piece o' cake

- Got my knitting needles all organized. Then lost them. I am seriously worried they're in the autobin (dumpster). In which case I am out like $400 worth of needles. ARGH.

- next project is organizing my yarn. I can't wait - I love my yarn so much. I adore going through my stash. Although it is alarming how many hours I need in order to work it all up vs. how many hours I'm actually going to have to knit. I need a job where I can knit and work.

- pumping milk for Anika - she just turned 6 months old and is just tasting a few solids, but is not really ready (although she is sitting up quite nicely for 10-15 seconds at a time now. And has two teeth. They grow up so fast! Anyway, coming home at lunch won't be enough for her for a few more months when she's actually eating. Right now I have to make about 12 oz a day to keep up with her (we nurse at lunch too) - she's a pretty big eater. She eats a lot at night still too - (see paragraph on weight loss)

That's about it. I'm sure I'm missing a zillion things, but that's mostly it.

Hmm - random - meal plan this week - Mon roast beef (crockpot), Tues pork chops, applesauce, mashed potatoes and gravy (broccoli for veg), Wed shepherd's pie, Thurs pad thai (I think).



Monday, September 7, 2009

To do list

Week two of back to work is coming up, and I'm excited to get back out there - I've got my meal plan done and veggies ready to go. I'm really enjoying my new position, so it's just super-exciting and fun. (Also, I got new clothes. Lots of them. Definitely excited to wear grown-up clothes daily!)

Here's what I had left to do as of 8 p.m.

- hem pants
- finish longies (casting off ridiculous ruffled edges at 160 stitches each, in rib (gah).
- blog
- finish laundry and get diapers folded and into bassinet (they're clean & dry, doing the folding tomorrow morning)
- chat with Max about school and make sure he's ok
- chat with Meredy and promise her we will start reading at bedtime again tomorrow
- chop veggies for the week (I have a raw veggie tray that is always stocked with washed, cut, bite-sized organic veggies. No excuses that way - it's probably tripled our veggie intake)
- find sewing needles in order to hem pants
- put photos on new usb drive to bring to work
- find usb drive
- hope to stumble across camera, MIA since Saturday
- do chore chart

These are actually the important things that kind of need to be done for me to stay sane enough that I can fall asleep. Now it's 11:49 and the pants are waiting, so I'd better get to it.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Lucky babies


From mashable.com


"Whole Foods has a very active social media presence. They boast over 1.2 million followers on TwitterTwitter and more than 100,000 fans on FacebookFacebook. It’s a true big brand social media success story; or is it?

Comments made by the company’s chief executive, John M

ackey, in an opinion piece about Obama’s health-care reform initiatives published in the Wall Street Journal are stirring up controversy on the Web and showing the company the other side of social media. Case in point, a user-generated Boycott Whole Foods movement attracting more than 22,000 Facebook supporters in one week.

In the controversial piece, Mackey denounces the government’s involvement in health-care, expounds on the benefits of Whole Foods approach, and even suggests that a multitude of health problems can be prevented with healthier diets. " (my emphasis)


Seriously. People are up in arms about this.

OK here's the deal:

The people who surround us are sick because they're fat, they're sedentary, they're stressed out, they're eating toxic crap, drinking fluoride, u

sing bleached paper next to their babies' skin, bathing in parabens, and otherwise polluting themselves in so many ways it's a wonder we don't all die of poisoning as teens.

Cancer, heart disease, parkinson's, alzheimer's, stroke, MS, autism, ADHD. These are all directly attributable to the above, along with smoking cigarettes.

These are happening because we're fat, we're sedentary, and we're stressed out. So get moving, put down the donut, and change your life. Live simpler. Get rid of debt. Drive a used car. Work less. That's the key, folks. That's all. It's so simple, and everyone is ignoring it because it's not as easy or as sexy.

Here's someone who has a pretty good shot at never being seriously ill, G-d willing. She's so perfect, so healthy, and we haven't interfered with that. We've just let her grow, eat, move, play, and learn. Everything she's meant to. Sure, there's disease out there that isn't due to lifestyle, but they're not half as common as these killers. I'm glad I learned this now, though I fear the damage has already been done. I just hope and pray that I've regenerated enough to make a difference.


This baby is so lucky.

We haven't subjected her to assaults on her immune system. She's perfect, and we are just keeping her that way. We're trusting that her body knows what it is doing. I feel pretty good about our decision.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

It's not like me to complain about the weather, I'm pretty easygoing (and I'm not one of those people who says they are easygoing when they totally are NOT), but this has been a bummer of a summer (heh). It's my last summer off ever in my entire life, and we can't even go to the lake because the weather sucks (kids plug your ears) shit.

I can count on one hand the number of summer sunny days over 25 we've had. I lose count when I add up the rainy days. We had major water damage because of the rain. My rain barrel is literally overflowing, and nothing needs watering. The dehumidifier in the basement runs 24/7 (that thing's a workhorse, we got it in the buy and sell 2 years ago for like 40 bucks, it's run for 2 years almost constantly and still works awesome. Unbelievable.
My garden does look fab, on the plus side :) I have thyme and lavendar to dry, but my basil got eaten by some criter so no pesto :( - tomatoes need a few sunny days but they're coming along. And we also put in a bunch of indigenous prairie plants this year, and they hate dry conditions so they're actualy doing awesome. Was out there today, playing in the mud. Doing my first transplants ever - pretty exciting stuff (if you're a nerd like me). My daughter 'helped' and we were covered in mud but it was fun. Really fun, actually. I didn't want to come in.
And a lily bloomed, right in my garden. It smelled just like it should. Katja and I both spent a few minutes admiring it and smelling it. That was something else. I'll post a photo soon. Just have to take one tomorrow.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Jam

Best jam I've ever made. Going to make changes to the next batch.




Bumbleberry Jam - strawberries, raspberries, and saskatoons, all local.

I used a cup less sugar than the recipe called for, because I wanted a softer jam. Next ti
me I will use a little bit less and add some lemon juice.







Every jar of this is spoken for, and then some - need to do a second batch this week.



Yum.


Thursday, August 13, 2009

Katja Woke up just now asking for mama. She's only been asleep a couple of hours, and she typically sleeps through the night (she is 30 mos old) so this was kind of surprising.

I asked her if she wanted me to turn the fan off. "Non". I asked if she wanted a drink of water. "Non" asked what she wanted..."bubbies" (to nurse).
I knew this, but had tried to distract her with other options. Nothing doing, unsurprisingly.

I said ok (she was all red-eyed and pitiful, I couldn't say no), and said "un petit peu de bubbies." (Just a little bit) She snuggles into me, all happy, "non....beaucoup de bubbies!"
(Non lots of bubbies!). Then settled in to nurse happily.

She's so goddamned cute. One of the advantages of nursing a toddler is that you get to learn how wonderful nursing really is to a child. It is so important to Katja. She is very verbal, so it's so much fun to talk to her about nursing.

She describes nursing as being like cake or candy. Both of these are rare treats for her, so are pretty special.

She also tells me a lot about nursing by *when* she is nursing. If we're home and I'm trying to get stuff done, and she's whining to nurse, she probably needs me to set aside the work and give her some quality time. If she suddenly starts needing to nurse at night, she is likely fighting a virus or teething. If she is hungry. Tired. Sad. Bored. Nursing is the cure for what ails her. I mean, come on - how can you just cut that off?
I certainly did with my oldest, at just 16 months. I still feel like a jerk for doing it, but I was stretched really thin at that point in my life for lots of legitimate reasons, and this had to give.
I think he's secretly jealous the girls got to nurse longer.

Anika's been up to nurse 3x already, guessing growth spurt, but come to think of it, she didn't nurse much today - not for long periods. Too enthralled by her sister's antics to be bothered to eat. That means reverse-cycling. To be honest, I'm relieved. If she nurses very little during the day then nurses all night that would be perfect - my milk would be a bit regulated during the day so I might not have to pump daily (logistical fucking nightmare). And I would know she wasn't upset by lack of feeding.

Monday, August 3, 2009

I'm missing Sock Summit



I am missing SS09 And I'm ok with it, because at the time registrations were taking place, I didn't think I would even really want to go. But I've knit a few socks since then, joined the Rockin' Sock Club, and have finally gotten the bug for sock knitting.

I made socks for the midwives' gifts, and honestly, I think it was probably the coolest gift they ever got - a sock is an awesome gift, because most people just marvel that you can make such a thing (which is funny if you are also reading Little House on the Prairie when knitting socks). The other great thing about socks is that each pattern is a bit different, so it remains challenging.

An average sock is solidly a 5 hour to 8 hour project for me, depending on complexity and whether I get extended knitting periods. I have two socks on the go right now, a super plain navy for my father in law (and wonderful babysitter) and a fancy pair, probably for a gift.

Our midwives' gift - pair of handknit socks, a pound of organic fair trade coffee, and a gourmet chocolate bar.


And of course a birth announcement with a very heartfelt "thank you". I haven't posted my birth story for either home-birthed girl, so I should really get on that. There's just so much to tell, and I don't often get a lot of time at the computer. Maybe I will start chipping away at it.



Friday, July 17, 2009

Errands. Insert silent scream here.

One thing that kills me in this whole 'mom' job description is errands. I just don't feel like I have a handle on this task. I blame the two year old. She makes every excursion such an utter pain in the ass that I just can't stand doing errands any more. Add the baby in her enormous lead-lined (or at least it seems that way) carseat, and I'm exhausted just thinking of it.

Katja is now too big to go in the cart, according to her. If she does go in, she typically lasts 15 minutes before she starts grabbing stuff or freaking out to get down. She takes her shoes off Every. Time. We. Get. In. The. Car. So on an average day with 3 errands, let's say, I have to get her shoes on her five times. And have to put her in her carseat 4 times. And she usually fights me at least 2-3 out of those times.

She usually has to go potty at least once during our errands. This is always a total gong show, with me holding the baby, my purse, and trying to get her not to pee all over herself. Then finding a way to wash hands again with baby in mei tai and toddler needing help. OMG.

My favourite is when she pees, then I decide I'd better pee too while I'm at it, and she chooses that moment to demonstrate her new skill - unlocking stall doors, while I say nonononono wait wait (all in French, that's what we speak..which reminds me, how do you say "pain in the ass" in French? Just curious). Then she bolts while I finish up. Joy.

Then there's the baby - option 1 - carseat, which weighs 300 pounds (ok that''s approximate) and put it in the cart. Disadvantage - baby stuck in carseat all bloody morning, baby gets hot, I so damned short (5'1") that I can't see over carseat in cart and bump into stuff. Option 2 - carseat in stroller, all the disadvantages other than lien of vision; less storage, plus stroller has to be taken out of car, assembled, and put back in car after. No toddler option either. Option 3 - baby in mei tai - makes toddler wrangling challenging and makes me look like such a MOM.

Then there's the other stuff toddler does. Demanding candy. Grabbing peppers and eating them before I pay. Seeing a 5 dollar plastic crap toy and being mesmerized by it for 15 minutes to the point where I have to bribe her to get her away from it. Running amok in the parking lot. Grabbing sunglasses Every. Single. Time. We. See. Them.

Another favourite is trying to climb into the cart at the butcher's - we go to this natural butcher shop (incredibly far from home - it's a 40 minute round trip but it's the only place with naturally raised humane society certified meat, so "we" - meaning "I" go there). The carts are ancient and greasy. So of course Katja loves to climb into the cart from below, usually when my back is turned, becoming either filthy or completely stuck (resulting in shrieking). Joy.

One of the challenges of a big family is food. But that's for another post.

It's a good thing they're cute. HEre they are with new hair bows from Etsy - can't remember the name of the seller, but I love them.

















More on the "big family"



So back to this big family - I have "big" kids and "little" kids. Since the littles (as we sometimes call them) were born, the big kids have had to do without movies with mom or extended "big kid" times with mom. I really do miss that - I remember taking them to Valley Fair when they were 8 and 10 and we had such a freaking blast. Part of me regrets that we are still a couple of years away from being able to leave the littles and do that again.

At the same time, we DID have those years, which is cool. And they have my ex (their dad) who does those things with them, like golfing, and movies, and other stuff. When they're with me, they're stuck doing little kid stuff, but it's kind of cute how my almost 14 year old DS stares at the baby giraffe in wonderment and tickles his baby sister and how my 11 year old DD invents the most ridiculous and crazy and hysterically funny games for her baby sister.

I love my photo of my big guy, minus the sullen expression that sometimes seems permanently affixed to his face, at the Como Zoo. Okay, he wore his headphones the whole time, but he did usually leave one out so we could talk.

I think it keeps them young in an age where kids are growing up so fast, and closer to home because they do enjoy the little ones. It gives them license to PLAY. It also is teaching them a lot about how much responsibility and sacrifice is involved in having children. I'm pretty confident my big kids will be very responsible when they start having sex LOL

Here's ODD who was pissy about going to the beach, finding her smile while playing in the sand.







(The cutie in the blue trunks is the hubby - he's a big kid too when we're at the beach!)








I get one on one time with the big kids. The other day, ODD came with me for lunch with a friend, which she thought was neat. Tonight the littles were so exhausted they were both asleep by 7, so we played scrabble and pictionary and made nachos and her birthday cake too.

DS and I sometimes sneak out to the library alone together, and he stays up the latest so we chat, or play cards, or he sits and reads while I knit. The two year old still gets lots of time with mama while the baby naps, and the baby gets her mama time at the breast, and at night sleeping with me, or when she's in the mei tai and we just snuggle and I breathe her in. She's so sweet and warm and yummy.

Speaking of the baby, there hasn't been much baby action in this post:




How's that for unbearably cute? New longies in Alligator Knits "On Safari" BFL - my own pattern, adapted from several I've tried.









And of course the two year old terror. She's so gorgeous and full of life. Drove me bonkers today but she's so worth the effort.




Big Family

I guess we are a 'big family' now, it's not many moms out there these days who have four kids. My situation is a common one, I think, where someone has a first and a second family. Some people wonder how I manage, others like to comment on how I have my hands full. Which..well, I do. I totally do. Today Katja played with a box of band-aids, making a mess and wasting a bunch of them. But she was blessedly occupied and quiet while I just drank coffee and knitted, so you know what? I let her. DH was a bit horrified, but honestly, for me? Whatever.

So what if the baby has a band-aid on her leg? I didn't see anything.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Random Thursday

I don't have a lot to offer today, since my main goals right now are to wrap up my practice (starting a real job in September....which is terrifying and exciting), and to keep the kid away from Caillou as much as possible. That kid drives me nuts.

A few random pics -



My three girls, just the other day. Yes, Katja is naked. Any tips on how to get a 2 year old to wear clothes? She's so funny, she always asks me who is coming over when I insist she get dressed. She will happily wear clothes (except her $50 Geox sandals that she LOVED and insisted I purchase, and now eschews in favour of her $9 Joe shoes that are two sizes too big and utter crap) outside of the house, then strips the minute we get home. Weird.




Anika and Memere (Dan's paternal grandmother) at Nadine's baby shower.












We just got back from Minneapolis (all of us except Meredith, and with an additional two - Dan's parents). We hit the Como Zoo on Friday with the kids. Great deal - admission is free, though they suggest a donation. The zoo kicks Winnipeg's zoo's ass down the block. There's also a butterfly exhibit (free) and a conservatory. Max had fun photographing everything.




Anika and papa











Anika and mama

















Max had a great time - I was really pleased that he didn't pull the sullen teenager schtick - although the ipod was on throughout, of course.















This is Max's favourite photo that he took













And Katja's up from her nap, so I guess that's it for today.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

lying to my kids

Recently a discussion took place on one of the forums I frequent. The original poster (op) mused about lying to kids and said she's pretty honest.

Some of the responses astonished me. Some people said 'I never ever lie to my kids, and how can you expect them to be honest if you lie and it's disrespectful etc.

Ok seriously? I lie to my kids all the time. All. The. Time. Like Caillou is still asleep.Of course I would love to read you this book for the thousandth time. Mama will be back in 2 minutes, just lie in bed and wait for me. Caillou is broken. Your going potty thrills me. I am so interested in playing play-doh.

And the lies I tell my husband, don't get me started. Yes, I sure appreciate the one time in our entire marriage that you vacuumed without my having to ask. Of course I don't mind going to your work an hour out of town with two kids in tow to help you out. Can we have sex? I want it SO bad. I love my crap minivan and of course I don't wish you made more money so I could trade it in.

But really, are these really harmful? I'm sure hoping they aren't. Because life is going to get a lot more complicated if I have to stop.